Seriously Smitten With…

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  1.  I actually went through SO MANY origami phases as a kid, and I still think the art of paper folding is so incredible.  I mean come on guys, it was a flat, 2D piece of paper!
  2. I find showing up in life so hard to do.  Whether it’s the social anxiety, the perfectionist, or simply the introvert coming to the surface, I often find myself making excuses for not being present in relationships or in moments.  This post is a great reminder of the importance of being present.
  3. I made the most amazing pumpkin pie this weekend for Thanksgiving, and guys… it really was incredible!  I’m not huge on pumpkin pie, but I couldn’t get enough!  The flavour isn’t too sweet, but just the perfect amount of spice, and the dough was a breeze to work with.
  4. Words of wisdom that we all need to bear in mind now that the cold weather, and carb laden holidays are coming up.
  5. There’s something I love about white walls and white shelves where you can’t see the supports… dream kitchen material for sure!
  6. This recipe combines four of my most favourite things: pumpkin, chai, crumble, and muffins.  I MUST MAKE.
  7. At least there’s a voice of sanity out there in the mix of diet media and holiday mumbo-jumbo.
  8. This sums up so well where I’ve been, where I am, and where I hope to be.
  9. A free online journal for all of you whose thoughts go too fast for pen and paper and whose patience wears thin.
  10. I believe in affirmations whole-heartedly, so long as you personalize them and make them resonate with you.  This list is full of good ones to get you started!
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Seriously Smitten With…

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  1. Most elaborate latte art for all your coffee porn needs.
  2. I’m not a huge tattoo fan, but these matching tattoos are a neat idea.  Hint: Moving beyond the portrait you might regret, or the name you’d like to forget.
  3. I’m not big on vulgarity either… I’m not really at all.  But there’s something about this mug that just makes me laugh and hits all the right spots.  You won’t believe how many times I’m holding a coffee, and thinking this at the same time.
  4. These cookies are next on my “To Bake” list.  Has anyone tried them?!
  5. I started a new job this week, and this little snippet was making its way around the bakery in a room full of chefs.
  6. These confidence-boosting journal prompts are an awesome tool to figure out where your emotions, judgements, or frustrations are coming from, and to process out your thought diarrhea before it splats all over the inappropriate places of your life.
  7. Some self compassion for all of those, “I hate my body!” moments.
  8. In need of a new phone case, and I’m totally loving this one.
  9. I think this would be the coolest course to take, even if just for those day off mornings to have a bit more pizazz.
  10. Leading up to turkey time, I’m craving all the pumpkin!  A list like this will keep me going a while.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Seriously Smitten With…

 

  1. Say what?!
  2. These illustrations about living with anxiety are spot on.  Or at least for me, 1-8,10,11,13,14 are spot on.  Although, I once attempted to drown an ant in iced tea (I just don’t like them!), so I guess I don’t overthink EVERYTHING.
  3. Guess what?!  Imma shock you.  Because I get SO TIRED of the argument that “I’m fat because I eat bread, pasta, muffins, or white rice.  I’m also fat because I eat SUGAR!” Carbs are not the enemy people!  And guess what else?!  SUGAR is just a CARB!
  4. I used to get all my confirmation of my worth, value, and beauty from external validation related to my weight/shape/appearance.  And it’s something we as a society battle with every day, even if it’s subconscious.  But guess what?  Weight is the least important and least interesting thing about you!  And if that’s all you can comment about in conversation, you need a hobby.  It’s time to end the stigma!
  5.  I just started reading this book last week and it’s such a refreshing and little talked about side of eating disorders, the side from the observer.  The first 50 pages or so moved super slow for me, but all of a sudden it came alive!  Not done it yet, but I totally recommend it so far!  Boyfriend probably doesn’t recommend it though… I think he’s probably getting tired of my being curled in a corner at every free moment reading it!
  6. Guys… I put some coffee in my smoothie for the first time, and this came out tasting JUST like a PSL.  NOM.  (Side note: you’re the best judge of what your body needs!  For years, I would rely on recipes and “healthy” recipe creators serving sizes to tell me what is “acceptable” for a meal.  It’s still something that is tough, but I knew when I made this, regardless of what the description said, it was NOT ENOUGH for my body for a meal.  I added toast and almond butter.  I was still hungry for morning snack at 10 am.  AND I’m not trying to gain weight anymore.  You be your own judge of what your body needs!) (Double side note: did you know Starbucks PSLs have only been around since 2003?!  What did they DO before then?!)
  7. I love DIY’s, I just wish materials didn’t cost money!  Either way, I really want to make this for my food photos!
  8. OMG, she’s writing another cookbook! EEEE! 😃😃😃🙌🙌
  9. Okay, bucket list vacation for the States.  Until then, I’ll content myself with picking through this assortment one Canadian city at a time.  I’m not a millionaire… it’ll keep me busy for a while.
  10. So, I ordered this as a three month subscription package almost a month ago, after reading this post.  AND it’s scheduled to arrive TOMORROW!  I’M SO EXCITED!  And I get COFFEE to sample.  And a mug.  And a soaking jar!  EEEE!  I’ll keep you posted on the deliciousness, once I’ve tried them!
  11. ****A bonus, because I just read this and it’s 👌!****

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

 

Seriously Smitten With…

So I want to write the blog I’d like to read, and in my favourite blogs, there’s always a weekly link love post.  And one of my favourite ones is the one that comes from Shutterbean, as an I Love Lists assortment, as it’s always different, always includes some totally random stuff, and always makes me laugh.

I decided I wanted to get in on the action too, so here we are with my new “Seriously Smitten With” series, which assuming I can keep my act together, will be posted every Tuesday.  Here’s some stuff I’m seriously smitten with this week:

  1. This artist makes jewelry inspired by the cities she visits!
  2. I have to question whether some of these fml moments are real, or made up.  Either way, I was almost crying laughing over some of them (especially number ten)!
  3.  My go-to burger recipe, although I use it direct from the cookbook (which is one of my favourite cookbooks ever, just be sure to white-out the calories first (or get someone else to if you know you’ll memorize them/be affected by them instantly) because you don’t need that crap!).  I don’t always make the onions or toppings, but as a base burger, it’s THE BEST!
  4. Diets suck, and we all know it.  We also know that they are not a solution for long term health or weight loss.  But there’s also the growing issue where “getting healthy” is really a diet in disguise… and before you know it, you become less concerned about your health, and more concerned about your body.
  5. Seriously this melted my heart a little bit.  What a genius idea!
  6. I want this spoon.  And knowing me, I should probably get this spoon.  And I’m liking these wedding favors.
  7. I love gold rimmed dinner collections but I hate the fact that you need to hand wash them.  The struggle is real.
  8. I can’t commit to a real tattoo.  Did you know you can make your own temporary ones?!
  9. Whether you’re recovering from an eating disorder, or just trying to make peace with food and your body so you’re not a total nutcase anymore, one of the most important and key things is to start living a non-diet life, and these three points are on point.  In my experience the order to which to approach them is more like 1-3-2, because it’s super hard to tune into your hunger and fullness cues when you have all those judgements from 1 and 3 in the way.
  10. Everyone knows I’m addicted to oatmeal, but there’s a particular combo that I have been MAJORLY crushing on lately.  Usually, I can’t eat the same thing more than a couple times in a week or I get bored, doesn’t matter what snack or what meal.  But I unashamedly had this guy probably 5 or 6 times in the past two weeks, and once it was within 12 hours of each other.  Mind blown.  You can get the combo, which I cannot take credit for here.
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Here was my version yesterday morning, topped with cashews and fresh figs, although my winning topping has been cashews, toasted coconut, and dried cherries.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

This or That- A Lighthearted Post Because I CAN.

Is there anyone else who loves reading posts like these?  Sometimes you just need these kind of things that mean absolutely nothing but are everything in your daily life all at the same time.  I am a human, not a robot, and these kind of things really connect you to the writer of the blog.

Or so I think.

I saw these questions on Jillian’s blog and loved reading her answers, so I had to give it a spin myself.  Side note:  If you haven’t checked out her blog, definitely do it!  She’s a joy to read 😘👍.

I also love link love posts, and lists of random stuff.  The queen of these lists is Shutterbean, so if you need a good dose of random and without doubt a few laughs, be sure to check that out too.

I just had a thought pop into my head about the latest season of Orange is The New Black.  This whole “This or That” game, reminded me of the creepy new guard and him playing this game with the Latinas… you know the episode I’m talking about?  Yeah… rest assured this game of “This or That” is NOTHING like their version.

So without further ado:

Instagram or Twitter?

Instagram, 100%. I could never figure out Twitter, but that could just be me and my lack of technological savvy.  I love scrolling through my instagram feed and being able to see life 100% in colorful fabulous imagery- it appeals to the artist within me.  Plus, does anyone else find the Twitter bird notification sound super annoying?!

Pepsi or Coke?

Ooh, tough one.  People say you can’t tell the difference, but there is one, albeit subtle.  I think I really alternate, but in general I think I’m a Coke person.  Every so often I get tired of it and switch to Pepsi, but it never lasts more than a couple.

Bath or shower?

“Showers. Who has the time for baths, honestly? Haha I’m kidding. Personally, I don’t like baths. The thought of laying in bath water that’s filled with my dirt from the day grosses me out. Sorry not sorry.”

THIS!  This was Jillian’s answer, and I finally can say I found someone who shares my opinion about lying in your own filth!  Boyfriend is always giving me grief about how ridiculous this is, but FINALLY I’ve found someone who agrees.😁

Plus, I get super anxious in baths for some reason.  I’m not sure why.  I’m okay if the water is warm, or lukewarm, but I can’t handle hot.  It freaks my system out, my throat constricts, and I feel like I’m suffocating.  The only exception to this is when it’s the middle of winter and you’re in a hot tub, but the air around you is cold.  Then, I’m good.  I don’t know why this is, but it makes saunas impossible too.

Glasses or contacts?

Well, funny story, I used to have glasses.  For at least… 2 or 3 years.  Plus a stint when I was in elementary school.  Miraculously however, my astigmatism corrected itself right after graduation.  The optometrist was amazed, and confused, as I had gone to him because my glasses were blurry to me and I thought I needed a STRONGER prescription or something.  I still have them, but they only ever make an appearance when my eyes are SUPER tired or I’m sick, where they seem to help.  I’ve never tried contacts, but I’m pretty sure if I did, it would be something like the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding where she almost blinds herself.  I don’t think I could stick them in my eyes without blinking as I have enough troubles with eye drops.

Online shopping or shopping in store?

Depends.  There’s something about shopping in store that’s SO much more fun.  I love to make a day out of just wondering through shops and up streets and looking at stuff. Most of the time I don’t even get things, although I would if I was rich, but the process is fun!  And there’s no way I can clothes shop online, as I seem to be totally different sizes in everything and am not really in touch with my actual body size as the dysmorphia will often get the better of me.  BUT, I also LOVE AMAZON!  Most of my cooking stuff, coffee, books, and things like that will be online as it’s often a much better deal and so much more accessible as I live in a small town without many shopping options in the first place.

Coffee or tea?

BOTH!  Four months ago I would have said tea, 100%.  But as part of my recovery I have a latte everyday midmorning, and give myself permission to enjoy it fully, and it’s one of the things I enjoy most about my morning.  I’m getting pretty good at making them too.

The rest of the day it’s tea 100% though.  Especially The Spice is Right from DAVIDsTEA… I can’t get enough, and will easily go through half a kilo a month.  No joke.  It’s a problem, and all the staff at the store know me by name now, and know exactly what I’m coming for with my jumbo half kilo tin every month.

Pen or pencil?

Pen.  Pen, pen, pen.  Does anyone else have a favourite ink thickness too?  I have this addiction to slightly thicker ink, not quite like a thin sharpie but between that and a ballpoint.  My old boss always had the best pens, and they had the PERFECT thickness.  I was constantly on the hunt for these pens but I could never find them, and then when I did come across one I liked, I ALWAYS forgot to write down which one it was so once it ran out I was right back to square one.  I’m still looking…

Pancakes or waffles?

Mmmmm…. sweet pancakes and savoury waffles.  If that makes sense?  I adore dense, hearty pancakes, that I glom up with rolled oats, and I don’t touch those light fluffy ones if I can help it.  Hence if I’m out for breakfast, you’ll never see me ordering pancakes, because they just don’t get it!  BUT, one of my favourite lunch things is making a savoury buttermilk cornbread waffle and then topping it with guacamole, black beans, and cheese.  Nom.

Side note:  I HATE MAPLE SYRUP on pancakes.  And I HATE WHIPPING CREAM always.  Like nothing grosses me out more.  I always top mine with nut butter, or cottage cheese, or yogurt.  And granola.  And fruit.  Perfect.  It was hilarious at the residential treatment center I was in, because every couple of weeks on a weekend we would have pancakes for breakfast one morning.  And not only were the pancakes light and fluffy, but you had two topping options: maple syrup and butter, or strawberries and whipped cream.  Can you see my dilemma?!  I always asked, “Can’t I have butter, and strawberries?”  No dice.  I hated that breakfast.  I always went for the whipped cream and strawberries though and choked it down, because if you picked the maple syrup and butter, you had to have a whole quarter cup of syrup on just one silver dollar pancake.  It was literally, did you want a pancake with your syrup?!  I mean I guess I could have just played Gilligan’s pancake Island in a maple syrup sea too… but they probably would have called food games disordered too.

Winter or summer?

SUMMER.  Boyfriend would have called this instantly without even looking at the answer.  I struggle so much with winter because I get cold so easily.  I always have, even before the eating disorder.  We’re only a few days into cooler weather, and I swear I’ve said, “I’m freezing!” at least 4 or 5 times.  The plus to winter though is we do have a heater, whereas we don’t have an air conditioner.  And cozy sweaters, hot lattes, tea, and PSL.  But that’s more fall than winter… and that wasn’t an option.  Actually keep my temperature in the 15 to 25 degree range, and I’d be one happy camper!

Sweater or hoodie?

Probably zip up lighter hoodie, or my absolute favourite kale sweatshirt.  Seriously, there is nothing as comfy as this guy!

Sun or moon?

Sun.  I’m a morning person, and sunrise means breakfast.  And breakfast means oatmeal.  And oatmeal means BEST THING EVER!

Tv shows or movies?

Probably TV shows, although I don’t watch either with any regularity.  I mean I like to GO to the movies, but I love the fact that when you get hooked on a TV show you have something to look forward to every week, and it’s prolonged.  Movies are over and done with.  I mean come on Grey’s Anatomy, Orange is the New Black, the Amazing Race, Friends, Gilmore Girls… they’re all genius.

Side note:  Boyfriend and I just started watching Stranger Things last night… we’re two episodes in and hooked.  Who else is watching?!

Rain or snow?

RAIN!  I love rain!  Just like I love the ocean… man I need to live on the coast!  There’s something about it that is so relaxing, and when I’m anxious and it’s raining, I throw open the windows and just smell that fresh signature scent.  And the sound… oh it’s the best.

Snow is cold, and wet, and icky, and turns to ice.  And then you can’t ride your bike.  And you walk, slip, and fall in the middle of a crosswalk, probably in a pile of dirty snow-plowed snow that is also yellow because Winston (my dog) has no filter and has peed on it.  Yep, can you tell I hate winter.  And I hate snow.

Chocolate or vanilla?

 

Vanilla.  Vanilla yogurt is the best.  Vanilla based ice cream is the best.  BUT vanilla with chocolate chips, or vanilla with chocolate chip cookie dough, or vanilla with oreo crumbles…. that’s where it’s at!

But dark chocolate covered almonds, or dark fudgey brownies, or Justin’s Dark chocolate peanut butter cups…

OH the decision is too much!

25 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

Sometimes you just need to take a break from thinking.  I mean, it’s not like I don’t have a plethora of other things to write about, but a good friend of mine once said, “Write the blog you would want to read.”  And while I enjoy writing and reading about serious things, there are SO MANY OTHER THINGS that are just as fun to read.  One is “day in the life” posts, where you talk about what you did in a day, and/or what you ate in a day, another is recipe (YAY!) posts, which will EVENTUALLY make their way on here.  #pipedreams.  Yet another is just plain and simple, get-to-know-random-facts-about-me-style posts that make the faceless person behind the pen (or keyboard) less of an enigma, and more of a real person.  Although being both an enigma and an unreal person is fun at times too.  I mean this morning I took a quiz that told me that instead of being a person, I was a chioggia beet.  Win.  Can’t get to be more random or more of an enigma than that.

This idea was stolen from Jillian, and I had so much fun reading, and relating to hers, I decided to do one of my own!  Let’s see how well you know me!  Peanut butter brownie points to the person who knows the most things!

25 things you probably don’t know about me:

1.) I’m happiest when… I’m drinking the perfect iced latte and am creating something in my kitchen.  Fill my nose with herby smells, and my mouth with the perfect ratio of coffee, to syrup, to soy milk. You got the bestest.

2.) …especially if it … adds in my boyfriend making me laugh at the same time or sneaking up behind me for a hug and a kiss… well, now.  That just takes the happiness up another notch.

3.) I’ve always wanted to… travel to Ireland and rent a little cottage in the country.  Then I’d explore the GREEN and the coastline either on foot or by bike, and sit and enjoy the view from the quiet cottage by night.  Perfect.

4.) My family and I… are super close on my Mom’s side, and are also RIDICULOUSLY competitive and game orientated.  Dutch Blitz, Settlers, or Pick Two anyone?  Just don’t let Aunt Yvonne play Dutch Blitz, Uncle Dave play Settlers, or me play Pick Two… you’ve been warned.

5.) I was a terrible… soccer player.  Dear sweet heaven.  Ball comes at me —> I stare at ball —> I see people running towards me—> I panic —-> Split second decision time results in A) me kicking the ball any which way in order to get it away from me (even if I score on my own team) so they stop running towards/chasing me (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!) or B) me attempting to kick the ball in part A, missing completely and tripping, falling, and/or spraining something.  Yep.  Gym class in a nutshell.

6.) My first job was… cleaning my grandmother’s house on Saturdays.  When I got tired of NEVER “doing it right” and the process of going INSANE, I got a job as an ice cream server.  I actually loved that, and did it for seven years.  Yes, seven.

7.) I could probably eat baked oatmeal every day. With peanut butter and banana inside, and vanilla greek yogurt on top, please.  Thank you.  12 times a day.  ALWAYS!

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8.) I wish I could… not be afraid of things.  I limit myself so much because my fear always gets in the way.

9.) I was born on the same day as… Cassey Ho.  Back in my stuck-in-the-ED days this would have been pretty cool, because I used her exercise videos CONSTANTLY.  Now, it just annoys me because that time was NOT FUN AT ALL. Plus all her “clean eating” stuff is ridiculous.  No such thing as good and bad foods!!  Ah well, I’m sure she’s a fine person in real life.

 

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Yeah, okay.  Even if this has SOME truth to it, my abs still want cookies, and a slice of pizza or two.  And that’s okay.  Just saying… image source

10.) My all-time favorite films are… The Devil Wears Prada.  Hands down, Meryl you are legend.

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Also in the mix of pretty close but not quite are Leap Year (for all of you with an Ireland/Irishman crush), The Help (Although not as good as the book), and Finding Nemo  (SO CUTE!).

11.) I do a pretty mean… Steve Martin in The Pink Panther impression.  I also can immitate his clumsiness quite well at times.  And I TOTALLY mean to be doing it at the time… ahem.

 

12.) I’m still mad… that Rory didn’t choose to marry Logan.  Seriously, it just wasn’t right.  Add it to the list of things like Christina leaving Grey’s Anatomy, and Dan being Gossip Girl.  All so wrong.

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13.) I met my husband… someday.  We’ll see when.  Knowing me though, it’ll probably be whilst I was doing something ridiculously accident prone and clumsily.

14.) I always knew I wanted… To live by the ocean, and in a city.  I haven’t gotten there yet, other than a brief stint in Vancouver, which only served to strengthen this desire.  I am THE HAPPIEST person when I’m near the ocean and can hear the earth breathe and the sea sigh.  Not to mention for some reason it soothes my anxiety, and the abundance of fresh shellfish and seafood to cook with is AMAZING!

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Gah… I miss it!  And I need it one day again!  I’ve had a vision of my dream house since I was 10 or 12, and not only are a few rooms very specific, but also it involves french doors leading to a deck with a view of the ocean.  Yep.  I know what I’ve always wanted.

15.) I’m not afraid to… change my haircut, length, style, or color.  I get super bored with it super easy, and while I’m not too impulsive with much else in my life, I tend to always decide on my hair the moment I sit down in the chair and run with whatever sounds good in that second.  It’s super fun, creative, and even the worst ones aren’t permanent.

16.) I make the best… oh dear!  This is a tough one!  I’ve heard I make the best buddha bowls, and those are 100% my own creation the vast majority of the time.  I also have a knack for making Middle Eastern Irani/Jewish food… a lot of that is recipe work and spins on recipes though.  My buddha bowls are often spins on their types of spice mixes and herb combinations.  LOVE MY CUMIN, CILANTRO, AND ZA’ATAR!

17.) I have absolutely no patience for… people who slack at a paid job when there’s work to be done.  You can ask my boyfriend, he’s seen it.  I CAN’T STAND the knowledge that there’s something that needs doing, that you’re getting paid TO DO, and you’re standing around.  If you want to know how to get on my bad side, that’s one of the number one ways to do it.

18.) I always cry when… honestly I have no idea.  I’m not un-emotional by any means, but it takes a lot to make me cry typically.  The easiest answer would be when I feel emotionally attacked and as if my character as a person is being questioned.  Even then I don’t always cry, but that’s the one I’m most consistent at.

19.) I’m a morning person, completely and definitely but I still don’t go to bed before 11.  I mean, for many people that’s early too, but 98% unless I’m totally exhausted I just can’t fall asleep before then.  However, you want to know a surefire way to MAKE me fall asleep, and it’s putting me in a moving vehicle.  I don’t know why, but it can be like 3 in the afternoon and there’s something about it that makes me sleepy.  It’s SO HARD to stay awake for a 2-3 hour car ride!

20.) I spent two years… wearing glasses.  Or rather, it was around two years.  They were really just for reading and when my eyes felt tired, which between grades 10-12 was OFTEN.  AND the unfortunate thing was that this was around the same time that I had long hair and a strong affinity towards headbands, and scarves.  And then I’d tend to match my glasses TO my headbands, which resulted in an apparently old womanly look, revealed to me by my Calculus teacher who one day decided to call me “Aunt Jemima” when I was answering a question.  This doesn’t totally make sense, I just realized, because Aunt Jemima never wore glasses…

But regardless, yep.  After that day, I never wore headbands and glasses together again.

It was actually to correct an astigmatism, but miraculously about a year after graduation I went to the eye doctor because I thought I needed new glasses since the ones that I was wearing were getting so hard to see out of!  Here I thought I was blind, but the optometrist checked my vision and thought I was lying because my answers to all the lenses etc revealed 20/20 vision.  Somehow my astigmatism miraculously corrected itself!  Not complaining!  The other interesting thing is that I can often tell when I’m getting low in Magnesium (ED side effect I’ve battled on and off with) and might need some injections again, because my vision will start to go blurry just like when I needed the glasses.  Found out from the ED specialist that was a slightly rarer but blatant sign of Magnesium deficiency!  So cool!

21.) I wish… I had an unconditionally free pass to all David’s Tea.  Seriously, I spend SO much money there because I’m a tea addict and they make the best and only ones worth drinking to me.  Likewise, an equally fervent desire would be for a Starbucks where I live.  The closest one is an hour away by car, and they’re literally the only ones that make my latte’s and frappuccinos EXACTLY how I like them.  Although, I feel like if that happened I would probably spend WAY too much money there too, so perhaps it’s a good thing…

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22.) At age five, I was deeply in love with… fashion design.  I would draw the most elaborate ball gowns on construction paper (of course right in the middle of the page so you would waste a TON of paper) and then cut them out and scotch tape them to my Barbie dolls.  Two dimension was where it was at!  Then, when I was in the bathtub, I would steal all the washcloths and elastic bands, and wrap them around my Barbies while using the rest of the elastics to create intricate seaming.  You have no idea how many hours my Mom spent brushing out all of the Barbie’s hair after each bath because the water made it all tangled and knotted.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is a mother’s love.

23.) I believe if people were able to cut out JUDGEMENT and ACCEPT DIVERSITY of race, age, culture, size, shape, appearance, language, opinion, and religion, the world would be a better place. Honestly, what other people do/think/say/feel, etc, is none of your business, and it’s their right and privilege as human beings to be exactly who/what/how they are.  If they’re not doing anything that causes harm to others, or things that are morally wrong, it’s not your place to judge or condemn.  Simple.

24.) I can’t stand… baths, saunas, or anything else that involves being submerged in a hot steamy place.  I don’t know why, but it makes me SO ANXIOUS, I feel like I can’t breathe, and I panic.  It is seriously THE WORST thing for me!

25.) Whenever Grey’s Anatomy is on, I watch. This is the closest I get.  For one, I BARELY watch TV… like we’re talking a max of 1-2 hours a week typically, and the idea of going more than a week without TV doesn’t phase me at all.  Honestly, I literally NEVER, even with Grey’s, watch something when it’s first airing.  I think it’s a side effect for not having cable for so long.  Even now that we do, I always just wait a day and watch it online without the ads.  Grey’s is really the only show that I will diligently watch the next morning.  Downton Abbey was kind of the same in its time too.

Hope you enjoyed learning 25 random things about me!  I’m curious to know which ones you knew already, and which ones were like, “Well, you’re special… I do mean, stop eating the paste, special.”

Leibster Award Nomination

So I guess you can call me a blogging newbie.  Scratch that, you can definitely call me a blogging newbie, and while I do definitely have some blogs that I follow, my knowledge and scope of the blogsphere is small… hence when Sarah Margaret nominated me for the Liebster Award, I was like, “Huh, what is is this?  Is there a trophy?  Do I get some cool accolades?  Do I have to give a speech?”

Liebster 

Okay, maybe I wasn’t actually convinced that my nomination meant reaceiving tangible memorabilia, but I was curious… and once I saw it, it appeared to me reminiscent of a chain letter.  Take that as a positive, or as a negative.  Regardless, these things can still be fun, and a good push for people who tend to be more of a closed book (Hello!) to put themselves out there.

 

So even after I already had decided, hey why not participate, I had to look up this Liebster Award on the all-knowing Google.  Surprise, surprise, it’s not just an obscure thing someone came up with when they had nothing better to do on a Tuesday night.  Most bloggers have heard of it at some point… hence why I now feel particularly novice-like.  But now I can cross off one thing on my “Steps to Becoming an Accomplished and Known Blogger” checklist.  Liebster Award, check.

 

Does this list actually exist, because if it actually does I wouldn’t mind taking a peak at it…

 

But I digress…

 

The Liebster Award Rules:

1)  Acknowledge the blog who nominated you and display the award

2)  Answer eleven questions the blogger gives you

3)  Give eleven random facts about yourself

4)  Nominate eleven bloggers that you think are deserving of the award, with less than two hundred followers

5)  Let the bloggers know you have nominated them

6)  Give them eleven questions to answer

 

So without further ado, I answer the questions!

 

1. What is the best thing about your life right now?

 

That I feel like I’ve hit the pause button.  You remember when you’re a little at a carnival and on the carosel?  Now, unless you’re a kid who is addicted to carosels (no judgement) there probably was at least once a point where you see everything around you spinning, and it’s constantly moving, and its uncomfortable.  You panic, you just want the ride to stop but it’s out of your control and everything just keeps spinning and spinning.  Then there’s this moment, that brief moment at the end of the ride where everything just stops.  It’s the moment between the spinning and the resumption of the world as we know it.  That moment, that pause, where everything is quiet and still and empty where you can for a second just realign yourself.  At the moment, I feel like I’m living in that pause.  And that space, that stillness, feels pretty great.

 

2. If you could have any question answered, what would it be?

 

“How do you learn to love yourself?”  Or at least, if not love yourself, be okay with yourself and respect yourself enough to have confidence and be okay with letting others in.   Either that, or “how do you stop caring about what everyone else thinks?”

 

4. What is your biggest pet peeve?

 

People who take their dogs for walks without leashes.  Seriously, though, it’s not just about you and your dog.  I don’t care if your dog is friendly, and I don’t care if he wouldn’t hurt a fly.  There are other people out their trying to walk their dogs too, and if your dog insists on coming up to my leashed dog who is leashed for a reason, and you have no control over your dog you make not only your dog’s life difficult, but mine, and my dog’s as well.  It’s quick, easy, and painless.  Let me walk my dog in peace, and leash yours.

Either this, or people that text, write emails, or even essays (I was a grade 12 provincial essay editor for the practice exams, and I saw some scary things)… actually just write in short form.  I.E: u versus you, brb instead of be right back… pretend that what you’re saying is important enough and deserves enough attention to at least write out the actual word!  AND, don’t expect an A on an exam paper that includes such shorthand, because… seriously?! 

5. If you could choose one character from a book to be your best friend, who would it be?

 

See, this is too hard because I’ve read too many books and can’t even think of characters because the only book I can clearly picture in a pinch is within the last five or so I’ve read!  And none of those characters seem to fit the bill.  Hmmm… I can’t think.  So I’ll think of a TV show instead.  You know doctor Maggie Pierce off of Grey’s Anatomy?  Yeah, I think she’d be my best friend, because she’s kind of a loner too, she loves crosswords, and her heart is so pure and honest.  She doesn’t have a hidden agenda and she’s so kind and appreciates quiet too.

 

6. What would you want your last words to be?

 

“I regret nothing.”  How cool would it be to be at the end of your life and be able to honestly say you were okay with every choice you made, and accepting of all associated ramifications.  Either that, or something like “That cookie dough was so delicious…” because if I’m dying I’d at least want to think that the last meal I remembered and tasted was my favorite.

 

7. Is there a story behind your name? If so, can you tell us?

 

Well, my parents had a bunch of possible names.  Jessica, Tamara, Stephanie… When I was born, my mom wanted to name me Tamara after my GRANDMA, but my Dad insisted I have my own name.  I was born really, really premature, so I only weighed 3 lbs 8 oz, and my parents had tried to have kids before and it resulted in miscarriages.  So I was thought of as their “miracle baby”, and the name Tiffany that my Dad picked out actually means “God’s incarnate”, or “manifestation of God”.  As for Irene (my middle name), that was my Aunt’s name, who had passed on a few years before I was born.

 

8. What is the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

  I’m not sure what’s scarier- developing an eating disorder or recovering from one.  I think the whole eating disorder package just falls into one colossal fear-filled three plus years of my life.  On a non-ED type thing though, I think the next one was the waterslides.  I’m still terrified of them, as I almost drowned when I was little and me+water= NO, just no… but you know they have this crazy idea in elementary school that the last day of school needs to be fun and take you to the waterslides every year.  Needless to say, I dreaded the last day of school like most people dreaded the first.

 

9. What two things do you consider yourself to be very good at?

 

Any word game/activity, like crosswords, scrabble, boggle… I have a pretty awesome vocabulary. 


Cooking.  I think I actually am a pretty good cook, so long as the eating disorder doesn’t get in the way.  And my artistic skills (I draw and play music too) really help with plating and the visual aspects of food.

 

10. What two things do you consider yourself to be very bad at?

Social situations, particularly those involving multiple people.  It’s odd really, because I’m pretty good at business-type interactions. I’m okay at interviews and I can do public speaking.  But if you get me in a laid back, hanging out with a group of people situation, I have the social skills of a constipated donkey.  Yep, a constipated donkey… it’s uncomfortable.

 

Sports, of any kind.  I manage to sprain things, or stab myself, or just fall flat on my face.  Either that or the ball goes one way and I go the other… this falls into two categories: both my horrible aim and hand-eye coordination, and my intense fear and hatred of feeling trapped, cornered or chased.  And what happens when you have the ball in a soccer game?  People trap you, corner you, and chase you… nope.  I’m going the other way.

 

11. If you could be invisible for one day, what would you do?

I would hop on a plane, and fly to every place I could, because you know, you wouldn’t have to pay for the ticket.  AND if you planned it out right, you’d be able to prolong that day so that you’d hit different time zones and could see more places in the world because midnight would keep moving and you could hold off on the carriage turning back into a pumpkin.

And Eleven Random Facts about me:

1) I’m a tea junkie. Yes, that’s right, a tea junkie.  I converted an almost floor-to-ceiling bookcase into a tea wall… and it’s overflowing.  My favourite tea of all time is “The Spice is Right” by David’s Tea… I seriously have at least 3 cups a day and it never gets old.

2) I love chocolate, but I’m super selective.  Perhaps I’m a snob, but I won’t even touch a Hershey’s or a Kit Kat.  I like dark dark dark the best, at least 75%, but preferably 80-85%.  I’m warming slowly to white, but only if it’s really good quality white.  And with any of my chocolates, I love it only in really small doses.  I’m talking like 1/2 to 1 square.  It’s not even an ED thing.  As I said, I absolutely LOVE it, but any more than one square and it’s not near as satisfying or delicious.  That being said, if you feed me chocolate ganache or a really fudge brownie, I can eat it all and I’ll love you forever!

3) I’m afraid of water. Yep, it means no swimming for me.  I don’t know how.  Backstory to this is a near drowning incident when I was little, and now it just terrifies me.  Bucket list is to learn how to swim though, because I do enjoy being in water, if it’s not too deep, and I’d love to be able to dive and see coral reefs.  I could spend all day at an aquarium!

4) My favourite animal is an elephant.  Seriously, it’s a bit of a problem.  My room is literally COVERED in elephant related things. I don’t know why, but they’re just my favourite.  Plus, I’m a pretty family orientated person, and so are elephants as they stay in herds and nurse their young for FOREVER!  Side note:  Oddly, when I first went into residential treatment it was really nerve-wracking for obvious reasons, and I was of course really wound up and questioning everything.  I walked into my room, and right beside my bed just happened to be a HUGE poster of an elephant at sunset.  Totally coincidence, but I took it as a good sign that this was a place I was meant to be in at that point in time.

5) I love to knit. This was something I learned how to do when I was in the hospital for months, and had nothing to do but sit in a bed/couch.  A fellow inpatient taught me the basics, and from there I kind of just taught myself.  Now I knit all kinds of things, and one of the things I’m quite known for is, surprise, surprise:

IMG_0165

6) I can’t stand Lord of the Rings.  Perhaps now you’ll never read this blog again, and for that I’m sorry.  But if there was one series that ever bored me to tears, literally tears, this was it.  I love Harry Potter, I love Hunger Games, but that’s pretty much the extent of my sci-fi esque love.  And don’t talk about Lord of the Rings to me… I might actually walk away mid sentence.

7) I recently had my first pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks in over two years.  I semi forgot how delicious they are, and it was a total victory on the ED front.  I even had the whipped cream. #happiness

8) I have an uncanny ability to injure myself.  I’ve had at least 4 or 5 sprains in my life, some of which were fairly legitimate (i.e.: I sprained my ankle at least twice running track), but most of which were ridiculous (i.e: I was dancing to Songza in my living room, tripped over my dog, and sprained my pinky toe.  MY PINKY TOE!).  And my first day of my current job, I managed within two hours of starting, to slice my hand open and take a weeks leave of absence after getting stitches.  Thankfully, they didn’t hold it against me.  I still get mocked ruthlessly though!

9) I HATE RUNNING!!! I just cannot believe that there are people who legitimately enjoy that torture.  And it’s so hard to admit, because for me, running=cardio=exersize=GOOD BEHAVIOUR FOR ALL THE WRONG ED REASONS.  And I want to vow to myself that I will never lace those running shoes to pound it out again… because I do hate it, and it consumed me for too long, and just… no.

10) If I could make any flavour of toothpaste, it would probably be banana.  But not like that gross, medicine fake banana flavour.  It would have to taste like an actual banana.

11) I was known for making awesome ice cream pairings at my old job. Yes, I used to work at an ice cream parlour.  And I was known for either coming up with awesome milkshake flavours, or two ice-cream pairings in bowls.  It was super fun.

And I nominate:

CassiesCookery

Well Fed Wanderer

The Surrendered Stomach

Breaking Seams

Your Midnight Blogger

Journey to a Balanced Life

The Journey Forward

The Wellbeing Project

Eilish Eats

Fuel for Freedom

Spoonfuls of Life

Here are your eleven, somewhat random questions:

1) If you could create any flavour of toothpaste, what would it be?

2) If you could relive any day of your life, what would it be and why?

3) What is your dream job?

4) If you could have any question answered what would it be?

5) What is the biggest problem you believe kids face nowadays?

6) If you could give one piece of advice to your 5-year-old self, what would it be and why?

7) If you could speak any language (other than your native tongue), what would it be and why?

8) What is your favourite type of tea?

9) What skill do you not have that you wish you possessed?

10) What do you think is your greatest strength?

11) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do and why?